When theres no more tears, it means that you have totally given up.: 06/01/2007

可爱

咖啡已经
温热不再
静静在一旁发呆
连风也停留窗外
等待

电话也已经
喧闹不再
静静在一旁无奈
时钟也不知怎么停下来

期待
突然醒来
有你
温暖依赖
只是爱与不爱在徘徊
摇摆

我想你明白可能不是爱
我想你只想找个替代
你都说自己并没有那么可爱
我想你明白
这并不是爱
我想你忘了什么是爱
我不过是可爱
却还不够被爱

I think this song really say out how a girl feels about a relationship. Afraid of being a substitute, afraid of getting hurt.

The feeling of being under-appreciated by others is definitely not nice..

After struggling and thinking for very long, listening to wat my friends got to say, ive decided to do it. Im not sure what Ive done is correct or wrong. Life is like a gamble. Nothing is fixed and you have to place the bet to know whether you win or lose it. However, Im juz a scaredy cat. I dun tink i haf the courage to take the gamble again. Whatever it is, I know god has planned a path for me. If its meant to be, it will be. At least, ive gt nth to hide and im kind of relief.

Work has become very slack for me. Before lunch, I would have finished all my assigned tasks. Thus, Im always slacking and stoning at my desk from 2-6, with some simple work to do occasionally. Im quite proud of myself as I didnt cause the salesman to pay any money while the previous staff did. :) Getting to like the people over there as they will always talk,play and make fun of me. Maybe because im the youngest, thats why im easy to bully? Haha. The work there is boring but the people there is quite fun I would say.

Watched "surf up". Been such a long time since I catch a movie in the cinema. The last show I watched was Spiderman 3. Opps. Im so outdated. Haha. Back to surf up, it somehow link me to ugly duckling. Haha. It was not bad la.

Little Ms Sleepy is back. I kept falling asleep at 9+ this few days. Muahaha. Then wake up at 11 to walk around and will go back to sleep at 12. That was my life in the past. Now, this is my life again. Not only that, Little Ms Giggle is back. My supervisor even ask issit I forgot to take my pills thats why I can laugh at every small little things. Haha. I wana be Little Ms Giggle forever, bringing laughter to others and myself. :)

Thinking alot recently again becos Im simply too free at work. Realise what Im clinging on is the past. And, the past will never be the present nor the future. Im moving on, hope the two friends of mine are moving on too.

Now, I understand the phrase "Promises are meant to be broken." The promisor will often claim that what he say is always true and blah blah blah. However, when things happen or in another circumstances, the proimsor will just break his promise(break of contract!!). Thus, I have somehow learn through the hard way that as a promisee, I should not believe fully in whatever the promisor claimed to be. On the other hand, as a promisor, I will only make the promise if I 100% know I wont break the promise.

I know I shouldnt have such thots for everything will look so complicated. Furthermore, simplicity is what I want in life. Contradicting. I guess I have grown up after these years(although i tink im still quite childish at times). Life is never as simple as I thought. Its full of ups n downs. Th sea can be calm or at high tides. Just like life, it wont always be smooth sailing. The conclusion is, just like wat surf up shows, just follow the wave and it will carry you to your destination.

had a fun wkend.

sat was a walking day. went novena in e afternoon. finally get to eat my kfc. but it wasnt tat nice. haha

den met sq to hunt for ANT prez(beta lk it arh). our legs almost break. haha.

SUNDAY!!! E long waited day of the week.

Met andrea to go buy prez, nt her prez. haha. den join 204 for ktv. woohoo. been such a long time since i sing. e last time was wif wenya(e two of us sang for 5 hrs!!). 8 of us were fighting for songs to sing. Without realising, i choose alot of female songs. hehe. being e kind soul, i deleted sum of them. :P
den den den,

it was bumper car session!!!
e 1st round, our target is choonie. all of us keep bumping him. n when it was over, he was sweating as if he ran 2.4km. haha

den we were struggling whether to take challenging rides or ferris wheel. both got opposition. so we played another round of bumper car!!! tis time round, our target is daniel.haha.

fun fun fun....

monday blues today. kind of moody. :(
bt tmr is tues. no more blues.haha...

Finally the long waited weekend is here!!! Have been waiting for it since monday. Haha.

Some funny things that have happened in my work place.

1) *phone ring*
caller(indian): is that annie
me: no, shes on leave.
caller(speaks veri fast): oh. im ferrari. can u tell leong(supervisor)tat im sick
me(abit blur): huh? wat ferrari?
caller: nono. is fahari.
burst out laughing after the call.

2) *after lunch*
leong: wats the stock over here arh
me: dunno leh
leong: silvum, wats these?
silvum: these arh, the invoice is there
leong(take the invoice): wat!roti prata! since when we gt order roti prata
me(burst out laughing): actually i saw tat. but dunno is wat.
-both started laughing-
leong(call e supplier): hey. when did a coffee company start to produce roti prata. u anyhw send things to my warehouse arh.
me(controlling my laughter): they still gif u free "tang yuan". n is peanut de.
the invoice wrote " BONUS pack: roti prata and peanut glutinous rice balls"
muahaha

work can be fun too. this little things always make me burst out laughing. hehe

It was a fun weekend. Full of activities. :)

Fri nite:
Chatted with stephy until 4am! break my record. haha. we talk abt everything under e sun and didnt realise it was 4am. kana nagged by my mother though.

Sat evening:
Dinner at sakura to celebrate choonie's bdae. Eat until i wana puke. Then all of us travel to daniel's hse for a stay over. its nice to be staying over at sumone hse once in a blue moon. but i still prefer my hse. :)

Sun evening:
Uni gathering. Crap alot and talk about school,work. GOSSIP. Yes. Haha.Shared alot of things with each other.

The feeling is so familiar that it reminds me of everything.
Having someone to pat you to sleep is so nice.
I luv the feeling of sumone playing wif my hair.:) But of cos muz be gentle la.

e wkend is cuming to an end. work tmr. :(

Results were out yesterday. It was disappointing. Or maybe I should say I expected tat i will be getting such grades. Just that Im super sad that I didnt even get a B+ for those modules that I like. Sian Sian n damn sian. Now, I need to pray tat I will get into a specialisation that I like. Praying hard. Kind of scared as I dun wana live wif a degree wich i dislike for e rest of my life.

Thinking back, since i enter university, i haven been putting in hardwork for my studies. Maybe I should sae im far more lazy as compared to my jc n sec sch days. Will buck up next sem. Hope will do beta e next time round. haixxx

Went out wif my family yesterday. Ate seoul garden. Tat was lunch. N till nw, im nt hungry. Haha. Having another buffet session later wif e jc cliques. at tis rate, i tink im gona becum a fat chicky liao.

juz wana express my luv to the whole world:
i luv my bestie gracians. u gals rock my life. i believe friends forever really apply to us. no matter how busy we are, we still care abt each other and will always be there for each other. Yea.
haha. lets set up a shop together in e future.
steph(studying chinese): break into the china market
shiqi(wide circle of friends) :in-charge of sales
andrea(our future accountant): our accountant
deanna(full of creative juices): cum up wif great ideas to market our products
me(good in maths): in-charge of finance

yea. tts a gd dream isnt it? ;p

STAY THE SAME

Don’t you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don’t you ever say
You don’t like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You’re better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same
Cuz there’s nothing ’bout you I would change

I think that you could be
Whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize
All the dreams you have inside
Don’t be afraid
If you got something to say
Just open up your heart
And let it show you the way

Don’t you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don’t you ever say
You don’t like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You’re better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same
Cuz there’s nothing about you I would change

Believe in yourself
Reach down inside
The love you find
Will set you free
Believe in yourself
You will come alive
Have faith in what you do
You’ll make it through

Don’t you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don’t you ever say
You don’t like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You’re better off by far
And I hope you’ll always stay the same
Cuz there’s nothing ’bout you I would change
No, there’s nothing ’bout you I would change

Simply love this song. I believe everyone of us is unique in our own way. One might be jealous of the life others are leading. However, everyone of us has a different life. If all are the same, then the earth might as well have just one person living. I believe God has planned our life well before hand. All the obstacles we met, the unhappiness or saddness, are just tests set by him. God didnt promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for tears and light for the way. I believe at the end of the day, we will reach the destination that we have been all trying to get there. Do your best in everything and leave the rest to God for he knows whats the best for you.

Utterly disappointed and disturbed. Again and again, u let me down. Why do I have to be trapped here when I know that besides climbing out of the well, I have no other way out? Why am I so stubborn?

4grace class gathering: